Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
