I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
