And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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