I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
