Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
