yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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