Dual....:-)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
