$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
