Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
