Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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