i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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