yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize