hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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