I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
