Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
4 words: hood of his car
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
