The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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