why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
