how can u be prego again
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
