you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
