He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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