hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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