we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
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He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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