If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
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His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
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Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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