Whod you bang
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is the high leading the old right now
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
