Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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