highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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