Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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