I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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