I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
