Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How external is "for external use only"?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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