I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
