Pants 0. Shit 1.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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