the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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