i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize