Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
