she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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