yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hippo gnu deer
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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