So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
