New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
