Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
