First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
