you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize