I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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