I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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