You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
