the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
