Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
