i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
