We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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