the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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