your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
