I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
