I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
