OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
