If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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