Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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