the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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