just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize