would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
