He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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