please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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