i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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