we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
